


I Need You

by tatterwitch



Category: Supernatural
Genre: AAAAHHH, Angst, CAS DEAN LOVES YOU BACK, DEAN CAS LOVES YOU A LOT WHY CAN'T YOU SEE, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Love Confessions, M/M, Self-Hatred
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-04
Updated: 2015-09-04
Packaged: 2018-04-19 00:51:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 859
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4726595
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tatterwitch/pseuds/tatterwitch





	I Need You

“Dean, I have other responsibilities.” Castiel’s voice was like thunder, cracking across the distance and brooking no room for argument. “You and Sam will do just fine without me on the hunt. You always have before.”

Dean’s jaw clenched as his fingers twisted into fists. They’d had this fight before. And every time it ended the same way. Cas would fly off to heaven to attend his feathery business while Dean was left feeling stupid and numb.

“Cas, man, I need you just as much as I need Sam-”

The words were all Dean could dredge up. It was true. He needed Cas by his side. He needed Cas to be there on this hunt, on the next and the next. He needed Cas to…Dean just needed Cas. He needed him like air, like food and water and Sam. Those were the four things Dean needed to live. He could even live without Baby if he had to. But life without Cas? Dean had done that before and it wasn’t life. Not really. 

Castiel’s blue eyes narrowed and his shoulders tensed. He looked angry, almost disappointed.

“You always say that, Dean. But the truth is that you’ve never really needed me. Not really. Good luck with your hunt.”

Dean wanted to reach out and smash his fist into something, to snatch at that long tan coat, to do something, anything to stop Cas from leaving, again. But that’s what Cas always did. Leave. Because Dean wasn’t good enough for him, wasn’t good enough for an angel. Because Cas just wouldn’t ever feel the same way Dean did.

Castiel turned, body tensing.

Dean could already feel the numbness that would fog his head and body for days setting in. Cas’ shoulders disappeared around the corner. Dean slumped against the bunker’s hallway wall and let his head hang.

“Fucking hell. Stupid, pathetic trash. Can’t even get out three words.” Dean smashed the edge of his fist into the wall, burst of pain bringing a hint of clarity to his fogging mind. 

How hard was it to say those three words? Too hard to say to Cas, apparently. Not that the angel felt the same way anyway. He was so much better than Dean. Sure, Cas’d fucked up in the past, but hadn’t they all? Dean had forgiven him three times over for everything. 

Dean leaned his head back against the wall and let his eyes slide shut.

“Cas…” He breathed, swallowing thickly. “I-I love you, Castiel.”

The faint echoes of his words bounced off the walls for a moment. The sudden snap of cloth startled Dean. Hands shoved against his shoulders, pushing his body back against the wall when his instincts had him moving forward and reaching for the revolver at his waist. His eyes flew open.

Cas was there.  _Right there_. Every one of Dean’s lessons on personal space had, apparently, been thrown out the window. Cas was so close, Dean could have counted every one of those long dark lashes that fringed blue eyes. Shit. That was too damn chick-flick, wasn’t it. He’d have to watch a few Die Hard movies and bench press Sam to get those man-points back.

Cas’ hands were caught in the lapels of Dean’s shirt. His hair was mussed from flight and he looked flushed.

“Say it again.” Castiel’s voice was like gravel, rasping down Dean’s spine and sending a few shivers skating over his skin.

“Cas, what are-” Dean’s heart stuttered. Oh, God. Had he heard? How the fuck had he heard?

Cas leaned even closer, breath ghosting across Dean’s face. His blue eyes took on an almost pleading light.

“Please, Dean. Say it again.”

“I love- I love you, Cas.” Fuck. He’d meant to sound steady and sure, not breathy.

Those gorgeous eyes flew wide. The hands on Dean’s shirt cranked tight. It was all the warning Dean got before he was being kissed within an inch of his life. 

 _Holy Mother of Christ_.

Cas was a good kisser. No. Scratch that. Cas was a fucking  _amazing_  kisser.

His lips parted Dean’s expertly, soft yet insistent. His tongue forayed against Dean’s, roving over his teeth and exploring his mouth with a single-minded intensity that was pure… _Castiel_.

The angel pulled back, leaving Dean heavy-lidded and panting. 

“Cas-” Dean breathed.

“I love you, too, Dean.”

Dean’s brain tripped. All the gears came to a screeching stop, grinding with loud squeals as it tried to process the information. Had he heard right? No way. No fucking way.

Cas’ thumb smoothed over Dean’s cheek and Dean couldn’t stop himself from leaning into the small touch.

“I have always loved you, Dean. I put you back together after carrying you from hell. I’ve spent years beside you. I’ve fought by your side and, occasionally, shared times of peace with you. I have enjoyed every moment with you. But I never…I never thought that you-That you shared my feelings.” Castiel’s voice hitched a little. “I am-I am very glad that you do, Dean.”

Oh,  _fuck no_ , Dean was  _not_ gonna get misty-eyed, aw,  _fuck_.

“Shut up and kiss me, Cas.”

Castiel was eager to comply.


End file.
